20 4 / 2014
"Feelings, feelings, and feelings. Let me try thinking instead."
17 4 / 2014
Lesson One: Proper Citation
Men get quoted using surnames
Marx, Foucault, Habermas
But my professor keeps referring to my favorite theorists as
Iris, Emma, Rosa
or, because pronouns are hard, they ask me trick questions like
“Is it Judith or Jack now?”
knowing full well the answer is Halberstam.
My female professors get cited as Ann and Vicky
in articles written by their colleagues because
We’re all friends here, right?
Lesson Two: Decorum
At my first college debate tournament the men talked over every speech I gave
“She needs her partner to do the work for her because she’s an idiot”
while the judge sat there pretending not to hear
until I yelled “Fuck you” in the middle of my last speech.
The judge docked me speaker points because
using swear words is very unladylike.
He used my prep time to tell me so.
Lesson Three: Panel Etiquette
My adviser gave a talk on the politics of eating together at a conference
and spent her entire Q&A fielding thinly veiled jabs and questions like
“What if you don’t have a table” while the audience talked over her.
“If you don’t have a table, you take a table,” she spoke into the mic.
And I wondered if I could expect to be called honey and sweetie and young lady
at panels and if I cut off the speakers midway through and say
Imma let you finish but don’t EVER call me anything but my name again
would they use my speech time to chastise me for swearing?
Lesson Four: Constructing Arguments"
When you’re the only feminist in the department, wear a skirt that’s too short and a pin in your lapel that says “Keep Warm, Burn the Rich”.
When the straight men tell you they don’t understand queer theory, tell them queer theory doesn’t understand them.
When they insult your work, insult their arguments. Is that ~political~ enough?
Don’t wait your turn. You don’t have to be polite.
Take the fucking table because you have earned your fucking seat.